What real estate agents say versus what they actually mean

December 7, 2017

 

At one time or another in everyone’s life, we have to deal with estate agents, (either buying or renting a property); and we all have to pay close attention to what they say to understand them. The slangs they use often mean nothing to everyday house hunters and never usually mean what you think. 

 

Luckily, we’ve decided to help you decode all the slang, so that next time you hire an agent, you can understand. So, read below and you’ll be fluent in estate agent!

 

1.    What they say: “Cosy bedroom.” What they mean: “This bedroom is legit tiny.”

When you’re told the bedroom is cosy, it means it is damn small. The room will be very small that it will be probably small to fit a bed successfully. You can go for this space only if you own just a bed, and have no desire to have additional stuff, and then this won’t be a problem for you.

 

2.    What they say: “Tidy, well-presented bathroom.” What they mean: “This bathroom was constructed in the ’80s.”

Have you seen a bathroom small enough to take a shower while sitting on the toilet? Then this is what the agent is talking about. Also, this might even be an not renovated bathroom constructed altogether with the house from the start. This means it was constructed back in the ’80s, has bad looking tiles.

 

3.    What they say: “Off-street parking available.” What they mean: “You’ll spend an hour on average looking for a park.”

Well, this may not be a problem, but it all depends on where the place is located. If the place is located in or near the city, then get ready to spend hours daily looking for somewhere to park, and then have to walk your way back home. This won’t be an issue for you if you don’t have a car.

 

4.    What they say: “Convenient location.” What they mean: “You’re close to a pub that makes noise 24/7.”

This place is super close to a bus stop or train station. However, this will depend on what you’re looking for. If you are the type that loves staying out late or hitting the town regularly (or if you don’t own a car and need access to public transport), then you’ll probably love this area. However, if you’re more of a stay at home, the noise and buzzing of this place might make you go nut.

 

5.    What they say: “Easy to maintain the living area.” What they mean: “The living room is almost as small as the ‘cosy bedroom.’”

You should not be a type that loves entertaining people. You should also get used to the idea of watching TV with your roomies while squeezing onto your two-seater couch.

Some other notable’s ones are:

 

6. Easily-maintained garden – concrete as far as the eye can see.

7. Full of history – Doesn't have electricity or running water.

8. No onward chain – somebody died in there.

9. No photo available – the stuff of nightmares.

10. Peaceful location – God's waiting room.

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September 9, 2019

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